Nov 12

It’s Time You Met My Demon

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Percy.

Source: http://anymaytion.com/

Source: http://anymaytion.com/


Percy is the demon that lives in my belly.

And yes, I imagine him to look like Plankton

And yes, I imagine him to look like Plankton from Spongebob


Percy first moved in with me several years ago. We haven’t gotten along from the very beginning, when he first decided to make my life a living hell. But over the years we seemed to reach an agreement that every few months he could throw his little rave parties in the dark depths of my intestines if he left me in peace for the rest of the year. It was never ideal, but abusive relationships rarely are.


Last year Percy went on a real bender that lasted a month. I mean, he partied so hard that I almost wish I’d been invited! I’m fairly sure he was swinging from the chandeliers, breaking furniture, and burning holes in the walls down there. But after that he went quiet. For months, I waited. And waited. It couldn’t possibly be true, could it? Had Percy finally left and moved on to terrorize a new victim? Had he simply partied himself to death? But just as I was lured into a false sense of security, I found out how wrong I was.


A year later, the truth: Percy had been plotting.

Source: stickypictures.net

Source: stickypictures.net


Percy had holed up to plan his biggest escapade yet: destroy me from the inside out so he could take over my body and rule the world!


He started by closing the drawbridge to the sewage exit. He laughed maniacally as the garbage backed up and clogged every pipe. Then, after I was convinced I was pregnant with a poop baby, he would pull the chain up in a fit of glee and I would realize that everything inside me was going to make a very sudden and painful exit.


He pissed in my stomach and made me too nauseous to eat. He practiced his sailors knots on my intestines and when he couldn’t get it right he got angry and stomped on my kidneys. He found his way to my thyroid and killed the head of manufacturing, bringing my metabolism to a complete halt. He found joy in all the new fat cells decorating his fortress like party balloons.


He had a real stroke of genius when he created the alcohol allergy. Any time I drank he somehow used the alcohol to poison me for a week, and sent his henchmen out to spread rashes across my body. And lately he has expanded that venture past alcohol, and randomly chooses which meals to make me allergic to. Yesterday, it was a salad.

Source: shawneigh.deviantart.com

Source: shawneigh.deviantart.com


For the past five months, Percy has been doing a very good job at ruining my life, but I’m fighting back. I’m determined to be in control of my body and to be healthy again someday. I’ve stopped drinking alcohol, I exercise almost every day, and I eat as clean a diet as possible. The battle wages on.


In all reality, I think Percy is the manifestation of the stress, anxiety, fear, and depression in my life. I’m stressed about what I’m doing with my life, afraid of the uncertainty of the future, and, honestly, being single for so long has been more than a small blow to my self confidence. The weight gain makes me look in the mirror and hate myself, and I can’t help but wonder if I just lost 15lbs I might be more noticeable.


There are issues from my past that I’ve never really dealt with, that I don’t even know where to begin to deal with. I’m the kind of person that has always been strong and moved forward and not let the hard things stand in my way. I didn’t realize it, but I guess I was just bottling everything up. But now there is no more room in the bottle.


The greatest struggle lately has been to continue acting normal. My friends know I’ve been sick, and they’ve been incredibly caring and supportive, but I know that everyone reaches a point where they just don’t want to hear about your problems anymore. I don’t want to be that person who always talks about her problems.


So if you see me in the near future, please know that some days I’m miserable and some days I’m alright. Slowly, more days are becoming better, but I know it’s going to be a long road to kicking Percy to the curb. I’m focusing on a healthier lifestyle and addressing the emotional issues. I have so many exciting plans for next year, though, that I have faith that I will feel better soon!

That's right Percy, cower in fear at your impending doom. Source: www.cartoonbrew.com

That’s right Percy, cower in fear at your impending doom. Source: www.cartoonbrew.com

Oh, and sorry to anyone named Percy out there, but I chose that name because it just sounds like a little bitch. And because of Harry Potter.