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Nov 08

Ridiculous Moments From My Day

I awoke to a message from my neighbor downstairs asking if I’d heard the people I share a wall with at 2am. Apparently they had an all out brawl for two hours with screaming, banging, throwing things, and a crying baby. Eventually the police were called. I slept through it all. Let’s hope North Korea doesn’t decide to bomb because I’d probably sleep through that, too.

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I noticed that one of my students didn’t have a traditional three-syllable name and asked him about it. Turns out he’s from Russia and has only lived in Korea for two years. Not going to lie, I did momentarily wonder if his mom was a prostitute, because apparently many Russian women come to Korea for “work”. Does that make me a bad person? His parents are both Korean, though. Awkward question averted.

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After class, my coteacher approached me: “I’m sorry to tell you this, Miss Kaleena, but please hide your bag during class. Some of the students in this class have been arrested several times. One boy has been to jail 11 times and he was eyeing your purse on your desk. I’ve had my watches and shoes stolen out of my office many times. Please be careful.” I’m considering leaving out a bag of unlabeled Warhead candies so he’ll steal it and eat them unsuspectingly.

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I played a music video by Pentatonix for the kids. They laughed at the black guy. They’ve never seen a black person in real life and they think all black people are named Obama.

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I taught my after school class to play Monopoly today and, after explaining it, returned to my desk to let them play independently. Of course, then two random teachers walked in my room and, without explanation, started taking pictures. I got up and walked around and pretended to be teaching. I tried to make poses like you see in those stock photos, with the teacher smiling and looking all happy and engaged and carrying a fucking apple and not at all like it’s Friday and she just wants a drink but she can’t have it because she’s on a diet so she’s going to go home and cry.

giphy (2)I’m sorry, is my low blood sugar showing? The hanger is real. Tomorrow I’m climbing another mountain so I have to go mentally prepare myself for huffing and puffing and trying not to show how out of shape and miserable I am.