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Dec 29

My 13 Ridiculous Moments of 2013

I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but rather than Cupid shooting me through with an arrow of love, some other jokester angel must have sprinkled a dust on my head that has magnetized me to strange, awkward, and sometimes hilarious encounters. It is an ongoing phrase amongst my friends to say, “this kind of thing would only happen to you, Kaleena.” And as much as I wish I could claim it’s just an exaggeration, the evidence appears to prove otherwise.

 

The year 2013 was no exception. So before I do a post reviewing everything I’ve done this year, I’m going to share 13 of my absurd, ridiculous, hilarious or just plain strange moments in the past 12 months. They are in no particular order because I just can’t even fathom ranking this sort of thing.

1) A pint-sized Korean body builder poked my belly and laughed while I worked out. Read the post about my humiliation here.Fatty McFatterson Joins a Korean Gym

2) I went on a blind date and fell into a large, abandoned fish tank. Don’t worry, that story is coming soon (it’s actually my next article in Platform Magazine).

3) On my first day of learning to ski I got stranded at the top of a mountain in terrible conditions and had to walk down an advanced slope carrying my skis. Story coming soon.Pretending to like skiing

4) I drug my friend into a traditional tea house populated only with old men in hats and accidentally ordered us tea with a raw egg and peanuts floating on top.Traditional Korean tea with egg

5) A fat Korean boy sat on my legs while my face was shoved in the water during a very bizarre swim lesson. Read the account of my water torture here.

 

6) I engaged in a canned whipped cream fight in my own house. And it wasn’t even the first whipped cream fight I’ve ever had. When will I grow up?Whipped cream fight

7) I fell halfway into the subway tracks and sort of almost died. I was running to jump on a train before the doors closed and didn’t see the unusually large gap between  the train and the platform. My foot stepped straight through the hole and I started tumbling down into the abyss. With half my body dangling off the side of the train, the doors began to close. I heard a collective gasp and several people grabbed me and wrenched me out of the hole and into the train just in time. I stood up with a sprained ankle, covered in dirt and shaking, but also alive!

Stephen Elliott Oct Platform02

Artwork by Stephen Elliott

8) I went to a Korean weight loss clinic and was called obese, offered mystery pills, and told to stop eating a jar of peanut butter every night. Read my fatty mcfatterson story here. 

9) I accidentally sprayed a bidet all over the bathroom. Korean toilets have a lot of buttons and after standing up I pressed one thinking it was the flush button… A fountain erupted all over the stall while I cowered in a corner for 15 seconds until it stopped.

10) On my first night in Seoul I couldn’t find my hostel and a drunk ajosshi (old man) decked out in hiking gear put me in a cab to drive half a block, and then led me in circles through the red light district. Nothing says “welcome to Korea” like an old man with beer breath and hiking sticks knocking on brothel doors with you. Here were my first impressions of Seoul.

11) At a temple with my friends we were unwittingly convinced to put on costumes and wear giant wooden blocks on our heads for a very serious photo session. Read about that lovely day here. Strange photos at Haeinsa Temple

12) I galloped a mud run obstacle course. Read the details of how I “conquered” the Spartan race in Seoul.

Spartan Race Seoul

Exhibit A: The man in front is not our friend. His mom made him jump in with us so she could take his picture.

13) I was attacked by my students for candy. But not in the normal kids-are-excited-for-candy kind of way. It was Halloween, and it was the only day I gave out candy at school. At the sight of candy the students’ eyes glazed over, and they descended upon me like it was the zombie apocalypse. It was a mob scene as over 50 children lunged at me, pushed and shoved me, and tried to wrench the bag of candy from my arms. So there I was on Halloween, 2013, dressed like a bat and running for dear life through the halls of a Korean middle school.

Attacked by students for candy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes I wonder what my life has become…

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  • ksommerkamp

    Hahaha awesome moments! I can’t wait to read about your skiing story, btw. It totally resonated with my second time on a slope – I was tricked by a friend into believing that a particularly narrow little slope (but not very steep one) led to an easy peasy blue slope that ended right next to a pub. I should have seen this being a nasty trick, but still believed him and suddenly found myself at the top of a super steep red (with bits of black). All I remember is trying to turn twice and being rammed over by fast pros, then swearing excessively at my friend, taking off my skiis and literally walking down all the way to the bottom (which took me no less than an hour!). In his defence – the pub part at the bottom was actually true!

    Btw. I love your new design too.. love the watercolour background! :)

    Wishing you a great start to 2014! x

    • KaleenasKaleidoscope

      Haha well actually, our experiences sound quite similar! Only I didn’t have a pub waiting for me at the bottom! What’s with people trying to trick us newbie skiers? Maybe it’s some kind of right of passage…

  • Keeley Dawn Albright

    ha ha ha oh dear what a year. ridiculous.

    • KaleenasKaleidoscope

      I know… I know. You might be the only person I know who can equally match my life’s ridiculousness though.

  • http://www.awaywithlily.com/ Lily @ Away with Lily

    LOL some very hilarious moments – I’m sure they make your time in Korea a lot more full of laughter! We’ve all been there – for some reason it’s always expats who get themselves into ridiculous moments. That tea with raw egg and peanuts though.. doesn’t sound very nice – how did it taste?

    • KaleenasKaleidoscope

      I can’t say I would ever drink it again, put it that way… haha. Life abroad certainly lends itself to some pretty hilarious moments! What’s the funniest thing that’s every happened to you?

      • http://www.awaywithlily.com/ Lily @ Away with Lily

        Hahaha got it. If I’m ever offered it as a drink.. I’ll remember to refuse. Oh gosh, I can’t even think at the top of my head at the funniest things that happens to me. It’s all just so random. But I do get into a lot of hilarious and confusing situations here because I’m Asian, and so people here think I’m Korean. Makes for some puzzled looks when people start talking to me!

        • KaleenasKaleidoscope

          My sister is adopted from Korea and when she came to visit me she got the same thing! People kept trying to talk to her and then when she’d give them a blank stare they’d just look at her like, “uhhhh, hello?!” haha!